Anna Pakkanen: Do you give people a chance to meet?

According to a study by psychology professor Markus Jokela, 50 hours is the average amount of time you need to spend with someone to turn a relationship into a friendship. A lower number of hours should suffice if the aim is to form a student friendship. How often are you in the same place as other students? And how quickly do you make your own assessment of other people on the same course?

We often form an opinion of new people based on first impressions. However, you may have been tired or tense at the first meeting. Is it possible to give new acquaintances more opportunities and a little more time? We certainly wish the same for others as they build up their perception of us.

There are many of us - some want friendship from fellow students, others camaraderie, a third a team-building buddy. Some have a wide social network outside their studies and some do not. We are also very different in nature - we need different levels of social contact. Past experiences influence the confidence with which we approach new social situations.

One thing that unites all Haaga-Helia students is learning. Many students are even in the same field as each other. That's already a pretty big unifying factor. Being part of a study community, even loosely, is likely to enhance your studies and make them more enjoyable. Professional identity is also gradually built up through informal conversations in corridors and canteens.

People have a natural tendency to conserve energy, so staying at home naturally feels attractive. However, when you come to campus, you may encounter people. Or on the way to campus, you might have an encounter of some kind. It's your choice whether to get yourself into situations where meeting others is possible. Friendship or companionship is not required to be perfect. And even if you don't want to get to know someone, you can still meet a fellow student in the moment. In a group work situation, could you also take a small moment to get to know each other? It might feel awkward at first, but it can pay off later as the group work progresses.

Being in social situations is often not easy. There is no right or wrong way to communicate and be a study buddy. I would recommend going to campus just to have a bite to eat or pop in if there are no lectures. Each of us can also decide for ourselves whether to approach new situations and encounters in a positive way. Little things like saying hello, smiling and making eye contact make a difference. It creates a supportive and warm atmosphere. A warm atmosphere makes it easier to be yourself. Perhaps it is precisely when you don't expect too much from a new acquaintance that you may inadvertently get to know them better and even become friends.

Anna Pakkanen, study psychologist

This text was written for the Haaga-Helia student well-being letter in March 2023.